Bad things happen to innocent people. Sometimes randomly: A bear might attack in the wilderness. A shark might remove your arm. Lightning may strike you down. More often, harm comes from another human mind: Another person can lie, or cheat, or abuse us, physically or psychologically. A system might deliberately or inadvertently oppress us and make life harder for us versus others.
Whether harm comes from the universe or human – the biggest possible question a victim can ask themselves: how do *I* take full ownership of the circumstances, and calmly, unemotionally, make a better life for myself?
Of course, pain is real. Suffering is real. Of course, there are versions of pain and suffering so extreme and brutal, they paralyze a person’s ability to function, without profound intervention of therapy and medication. Of course, there are atrocities in life where justice must be served.
However – for the harms that do NOT kill us, or psychologically paralyze us, or torment us every waking minute of our lives, what good can it possibly do, to feel sorry for ourselves at all? What good can it possibly do to desire other people’s sympathy? What good can it do to remind ourselves how unfairly we’ve been treated, over and over and over again?
The Hidden Cost of Victimhood
Not only can this do very little good, it can do great harm. If the roots of our identity attach themselves to victimhood, to the big bad wolf that wronged us, then that is all we will be. Victims. Expectant of sympathy and help. Never able to recover and gain strength to help ourselves. We will forever be the person that was wronged by X Y an Z. When we die, that will be the story of our lives: Here lies the person that was wronged by X, Y, and Z.
Help Yourself. Step Away From Noise. Take Ownership.
Spend any time on the internet and you will discover an ocean of people who are bitching and moaning about absolutely anything. Consider for a moment, this is a wildly distorted, hyperbolic, horrific view of what humanity is. Consider for a moment, this is precisely how one ought NOT to live their lives, and you can aspire for so much more.
“How easy and how convenient is it, for us to blame everything and everybody, for the things that we have going on in our lives.
There is a such thing as you being a positive and a great person with the best of intentions towards everybody, and shit is rough and you just can’t get a break.
But most of you… MOST OF YOU… are waking up every day looking for pain dysfunction drama unemployment being broke struggling dropping every excuse in the book about your childhood and the problems and dysfunction that you grew up in that’s stopping you from becoming successful.”